It is normal to feel you don't know what to say to someone who has cancer. Remember, there is no "right" thing to say or do. Sometimes the simplest expressions of concern are the most meaningful. Take your cues from the person with cancer. Some people are very private while others will talk more about their illness. Respect the person's need to share or their need to remain quiet. It is important to simply let them know you care.

Listening is as important as saying something. Here are a few tips on how to be a good listener.

1. Get the setting right: Get comfortable and be relaxed. Make sure you keep your eyes on the same level as the patient. Stay within a comfortable distance and maintain eye contact.
2. Find out whether the patient wants to talk or not: Sometimes it is not the right moment to talk. If you are not sure, you can ask, "Do you feel like talking?"
3. Listen and show you're listening: Listen, instead of thinking about what you are going to say. Try not to interrupt.
4. Encourage the patient to talk: Communicating with someone is active even when your role is to listen. Simple encouragements are helpful, such as, "Yes," "I see," or "Tell me more."
5. Respect the silences and non-verbal communication: A silence may mean that the patient is thinking about something sensitive or painful. Give them time to tell. Just being there is offering support. You may want to reach out and touch their hand or arm.
6. Describe your own feelings: It is alright to talk about your own feelings of awkwardness. Admitting that you are finding it difficult to talk often eases an uncomfortable atmosphere. Try saying things like, "I find this difficult to talk about," or "I'm not very good at talking about this."
7. Make sure you understand: Ask questions when something is unclear. This can help avoid misunderstandings.
8. Don't change the subject: Sometimes the topic may turn to something that may be difficult for you to hear. While it may be difficult, it is probably very important to the patient. Try to listen. If it is still to difficult, don't just change the subject. Tell them that you are finding it difficult and that you would like to come back to it later.
9. Don't give advice: Try not to give advice unless you are asked for it. Also, it is usually best not to tell cancer stories of other people. Everyone is different. Focus on the person you are trying to support and show that you understand.
10. Respond to humour: Don't forget that laughter is good medicine. Humour can be a person's way of coping. Let the person with cancer take the lead and respond when they find something funny about their experience. It's healthy.

You may find it easy to offer support at first, but that it gets harder as time goes by. You may need to take time to look after yourself sometimes. Try to keep offering support and remember that living with cancer is a life-long journey. Your support is important every step of the way.

You may consider helping your friend or loved one track their chemotherapy treatment with helpful online tools.